Christmas festivities are in full swing, and you are harbouring desires to snuggle up with your loved by an open fire, with champers or maybe following a few mulled wines, and possibly on that old clichéd favourite; the animal skin rug. And to complete the scene, you very much want to strip down to some sexy underwear, maybe a corset, busque, matching (lets face it in day-to-day wear this is unusual for the average girl) bra and knickers, and most definitely accompanied by suspenders and stockings.

PANIC! The past few winter months (not to mention preceding miserable summer season) have got in the way of your ideal svelte bronzed self and the idea of squeezing into thigh-emphasising stockings fills you with dread. Do not worry, because I filled with the same dread, have come across a few helpful tricks. Note, these are not miraculous mind-bending feats of the super natural, merely a couple of ideas so obvious you may not have thought they would help.

Firstly, stockings are a must, the ultimate sensual luxury item – but not kind on those without the Kate Moss ‘my knees are wider than my thighs’ kinda legs. I found buying extra large sizes really helped! They are longer on the leg, therefore lengthening your own limbs, and most importantly, do not eat into the thigh. Do not be put off buying XL or even XXL, these sizes will only flatter and in now way swamp, and there are no size labels on the garment so no need for the object of you affection to have any idea. I’m personally a big fan of the agent provocateur line, and actually Anne Summers also have a good selection! (I sound surprised because whilst fun, Ann Summers is often anything but classy, although recently I have to say have gratefully eaten my words)

Secondly, go for detail! Large bows or ribbons around the hem of the stocking tack the eye away from the revealed thigh, giving a sexy overall image without laying bare all your insecurities. Hems and design up the back lengthen legs aswell as give a touch of 50s glamour to the ensemble.

Thirdly, no-brainer-fake tan! Not ridiculous amounts resulting in a tangoed strip of flesh so far removed from your natural tone, that that area is the only conceivable area for focus! But slightly browner skin does give the appearance of being slimmer and more toned.

Fourthly, suspender belts aren’t for everyone. Yes they are retro chic, but they do sit on your waste, and if your not the right shape, then they just aren’t flattering. I noticed some cool knickers from Anne Summers with suspender hooks hanging from the lower hem, embellished with ribbons being sold from Anne Summers (again standing corrected) These were large enough to hold everything in that you didn’t want hanging out, but were undoubtedly sexy and very girly, with ruffles around the leg area masking any saddle-bag areas of concern.

If you really are a curvy lady than you are going to have the bosoms you match, make these a feature with push up bras or busques leaving him unable to tear his eyes away.

And finally, without sounding like a patronising Americanised self-help book, there is nothing more sexy than self confidence, if you are going to put it on, make sure you wear with pride, your partner will not even begin to notice your feared areas for concern if you strut your stuff with lots of attitude. However, if you are going to flick the lights off as soon as you emerge from the bathroom or scoot straight under the duvet, I would really advise not bothering in the first place! More importantly, don’t forget you are dressing up for you as much as him, have fun with it and explore your naughty festive side!

X

The month of Christmas is here and as I’m busy busy busy I’m trying to shop exclusively for gifts online. Don’t get me wrong, I *love* wandering around the likes of Camden lock at Christmas or visiting Christmas markets, but fighting my way through bargain-hungry crowds, the like who take no prisoners, on a grey and miserable winters eve is most definitely not my idea of fun.

However, a couple of days in and things are going as smoothly as I had hoped! I’ve decided that a funky laptop bag is the perfect gift for my geeky boyfriend, and actually there are a lot to choose from online. The problem I’m having is that few seem to marry style and geek-chic functionality. They either remind me of bulky bags once donned in early teenhood, or are way too business-slick. Girls on the other hand are spoilt for choice!! There are so many different styles! Fun, retro, sophisticated designer, all of which appeal!!

Why is it that the guys selection is proving sooo much more difficult!?

One bag which I think would be perfect for my boy is the custom-build Vaja, with bright swatches of colour, edgy-style, and high quality workmanship. $600 however!? Absolutely not possible!! Not in this day and age!

Internet shopping was supposed to be the smart option! Any suggestions gratefully received! However in the meantime, jump over to mynameiskate ‘s laptop bag reviews and maddiepowers– very cool bags for girls if you’re in the market!

Hello one and all! Apologies for the recent silence. Unfortunately a slight shift in job role has meant an increase in travel, coupled with trying to fit in time with my recently distant boy spelling a serious decrease in free time. I’m not complaining, all has been enjoyable, however I might have to look into using SpinVox or some other moblog tool if I am serious about committing to this site. Which by the way, I am.

Lack of free time has also prevented me from getting involved in national novel writing month, or NaNoWriMo as commonly refereed. Several friends and a number of peeps I follow online have thrown themselves into the challenge with much gusto. The challenge is in its 10^th year, and requires participants to write 50,000 words in the month of November.

This year over 118,500 authors and jumped aboard, with over 4,300 having hit the 50k word mark thus far! Which is no mean feat, a lot of the participants that I’m aware of are free lancers or students, those with full time employment are faced with penning approx 2,000 words a night, dedication crucial! Copy has to be original and genuine, as online tools scan submissions to make sure individuals have not cheated by inserting repetitious or nonsense words. If you do hit the 50,000 mark by Nov 30^th you are rewarded with a custom built blog badge, recognising your achievements.

It is important however, to understand that NaNoWriMo is less about generating high brow literature greats and more about creating a sense of community and encouraging individuals to exercise their creative muscles.

Recently primed from a creative writing course and brimming with ideas and inspiration, I’ll be there next year no question!

Holly and Fearne make quite the dream combo, according to our boys. Not only are the two bombshells fine of face and figure, but they are also funky. And importantly, whilst complementary their styles contrast.

Lady-like Holly, appealing to the wholesome (yet not vomit-inducing) girly-girl enthusiast is renowned for ensembles flattering of the curvy-lady; synched waists, tailored jackets and kick-skirts indicative of the 1950’s. Holly has not been without her critiques and has come under-fire for wearing revealing dresses with plunging neck-lines before the water shed however these dresses are perfect examples of her penchant for the 1950’s glamour, and the very reason she is such a hit with the boys. I am of a similar shape to Holly and also love the glamour of the 50’s and have long peppered my wardrobe with such outfits.

Fearne on the other hand is a draw for all those guys professing to a love of ‘indi’ or ‘alternative-without-wearing-black-eye-liner-on-your-lips-and-smelling-like-must-and-grease’ kinda girls. She is a walking talking Topshop window, and fair play to her, she achieves a bright and fun, and I suppose some might say edgey finish (you can tell I’m a greater fan of Holly). Slim Fearne wears attention seeking loud colours and patterns, to make the most of her ’straight up and down’ figure.

Of course their TV personas are as contrasting/complimentary as their wardrobes, with Fearnes’ brash insincere gap fillers and Hollys’ sweet and unassuming gigglers.

Today I feel blue. My beautiful boy has accepted the offer of an exciting and challenging new Job in a city 2.5 hours away by bus and 1.5 hours by train. I am SO proud of him. And I am so happy he’s so excited about the prospect of his new life, and have been nothing but positive to him about it. But secretly I also feel desperately melancholy.

We are going to stay together and try to see each other as often as we can but there is no denying it will never be the same. Instead of being with each other all day (we work together) and all night, it will be snatches of weekends. Instead of sharing friends, he will be spending most of his time with people I won’t know, some of whom I’ll never meet. We’ve discussed the possibility of me moving to be near him, in London, which is a move I’ve always planned to make. However it will mean finding a new job, which is easier said than done (not particularly easy during a recession) as I don’t feel satisfied within my job and I have no idea of what I want to do, feel totally overwhelmed by the whole career-changing prospect as will be the second time I’ve completely changed tact, and feel pressurised to get it right this time! it will also mean leaving all my friends here, and probably still not living very close to my boy.

I feel so tragicly sad, but am trying my hardest to be positive for his sake and the sake of our relationship. But I just feel so low.

Blue and dismal.

Having style, to me, is someone who can use colour, shape and pattern to create an interesting visual effect.

Regarding clothes, the style has to achieve an over all purpose, to be striking, to be functional and to be flattering. Flattering styles obviously vary depending on cultural social norms. Generally in western culture it is deemed attractive if a female is slim and tall, or even slim and curvaceous. Manly because these are charateristics common within fit and healthy individuals, and ultimately females who are going to be better well equipt to carry children, and give birth (Sorry to get all phsyio/anthropological on you!).

Different shapes suit different styles. Someone with understanding of form, will chose to wear designs that emphasis their assets and skirt over their problem areas.

Which brings me to Maquita Oliver – who is responsible for those visual nightmares!? And why haven’t they been fired!? Because Maquita has been wearing shit threads for years, since dinosaurs roamed the land, basically as long as she’s been on telly.

She can’t possibly have been misfortunate enough to score shite stylist upon shite stylist. Maybe she’s done something to piss of the style professionals an small but elite group of wardrobe employees have vowed to sacrife their careers in order to Keep /maquita looking short, chunky and bow legged as she strains out of skirts, busts out of leggings. The poor girl looks uncomfortable!! Some throw her a lifeline, or just maybe a size chart, time to face up to some home truths Maquita, a size 12 you are not!

]]> http://redshoesnoknickers.wordpress.com/2008/08/20/maquita-oliver-visual-nightmare/feed/ 0 StellarDor http://redshoesnoknickers.wordpress.com/2008/08/08/who-said-house-work-wasnt-sexy/ http://redshoesnoknickers.wordpress.com/2008/08/08/who-said-house-work-wasnt-sexy/#comments Fri, 08 Aug 2008 12:44:35 +0000 StellarDor http://redshoesnoknickers.wordpress.com/?p=19 ]]>

Sassy, sexy and useful were the criteria I set off with on my birthday-gift perusal of the interweb.

My cybernet recce was not unsuccessful. It has been long recognized that there is a certain sexiness surrounding the housewife act, be it French maid orientated or domestic goddess Nigela Lawson’s seductive hair-flicking finger-suckling homemaker-theatrics.

Today I discovered Jessie Steeles’ practical, about- the-house, vintage pin-up aprons…

I have a particular penchant for the full length hostess style.

My imaginiation gets the better of me.   I’m transported into a rustic farmhouse kitchen, taking a moment to stoke the Aga before returning to kneading dough on a large wooden workbench. Enter strapping woodcutter-type, who stoops through the low doorway, tossing the shirt he holds in his hand aside. I have barely enough time to turn around before he strides towards me, lifting me up back onto the workbench sending clouds of flour into the air. Hungrily kissing my lips and neck, his strong large workers hands slide stealthily beyond my knee and further up under my dress and fabulous apron, past my inner thighs until he’s ripping at my stockings and artfully navigating around my panties. The air is filled with flour clouds, grunts and ecstatic gasps of breath as we grapple and thrust our way to a 1950’s sensual nirvana…

Phew…

Where’s my credit card…