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Blue day

September 23, 2008

Today I feel blue. My beautiful boy has accepted the offer of an exciting and challenging new Job in a city 2.5 hours away by bus and 1.5 hours by train. I am SO proud of him. And I am so happy he’s so excited about the prospect of his new life, and have been nothing but positive to him about it. But secretly I also feel desperately melancholy.

We are going to stay together and try to see each other as often as we can but there is no denying it will never be the same. Instead of being with each other all day (we work together) and all night, it will be snatches of weekends. Instead of sharing friends, he will be spending most of his time with people I won’t know, some of whom I’ll never meet. We’ve discussed the possibility of me moving to be near him, in London, which is a move I’ve always planned to make. However it will mean finding a new job, which is easier said than done (not particularly easy during a recession) as I don’t feel satisfied within my job and I have no idea of what I want to do, feel totally overwhelmed by the whole career-changing prospect as will be the second time I’ve completely changed tact, and feel pressurised to get it right this time! it will also mean leaving all my friends here, and probably still not living very close to my boy.

I feel so tragicly sad, but am trying my hardest to be positive for his sake and the sake of our relationship. But I just feel so low.

Blue and dismal.

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